The Questions and Inquiries of An Angel
by Nekosblackrose
Summary: Just a collection of shorts featuring Castiel and his seemingly innocent questions that (unknown to him) might not be so innocent after all. Rated for language and subjects.
1. Why Did The Pizza Man Slap Her Rear?

**A/N: I fell over laughing when I watched the episode where Cas watched porn just because it was there XD And I had to write this. It was all too tempting! Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy it, and please review :3**

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Why Did the Pizza Man Slap Her Rear?

Castiel sat in one of the chairs at the small round table across from the two queen beds that occupied the motel room Dean and Sam had rented for that night with a puzzled look on his face. He was taking a much needed break from the war with Raphael and Sam was off with a waitress from the bar down the street. So, it was just him and Dean. It was only a day since they had destroyed Crowley and learned that he couldn't get Sam's soul back. …And a day since he'd watched that movie with the pizza man. And that was what was puzzling him.

Dean sighed from where he lay over the covers of the bed and shifted. "You know, I can't help but feel that there's this heavily weighted question in the air and it's going to come from you," He said without opening his eyes or sitting up. Castiel turned to look at him and Dean cracked open an eye to give him a pointed look like 'Well?'

"I still do not understand why the pizza man was slapping the babysitter's rear," Castiel said. Dean's eyes opened and he sat up, his eyebrows lifting up towards his hairline.

"You have got to be kidding me," He muttered rubbing at his face. "That's what you're sitting there worrying over?"

"Yes," Castiel confirmed with confidence. "Did she do something wrong? Was he punishing her for some reason that wasn't explained?" Dean gave a small smile, his eyes sparking with mirth. He laughed softly and shook his head.

"I honestly don't wanna tell ya," He said, his lips twitching up into a grin. Castiel frowned and tilted his head to the side.

"Why?" He asked in confusion.

"Because I really like your innocence," Dean said honestly. A small blush tainted Castiel's cheeks and he looked down at the table. Dean sighed and scooted up to sit on the end of the bed. "It's a turn on."

"Excuse me?" Castiel inquired turning to Dean with even more confusion than before. Dean smirked and repeated what he'd said. "A…turn on?" Castiel repeated the words, trying them out on his tongue and could only frown in confusion. Dean sighed.

"Remember how a certain limb between your legs began to get hard while you were watching that porno?" Dean began, hoping that he wouldn't have to explain _everything_ to Castiel.

"You mean when my vessel became aroused?" The angel clarified. Dean nodded.

"Yeah, that," He said, his voice filling with relief. "The, uh, slang for that is getting turned on." Castiel nodded, understanding flashing in his blue eyes. Dean was grateful that the angel was a fast learner, but that didn't make this conversation any less awkward for him.

"But what do you mean that the pizza man slapping her rear is a turn on?" Castiel asked then. Dean rolled his eyes and rubbed at his forehead. And he thought that this was over.

"It's something that makes them aroused," He explained, his voice coming out a bit harsher than he intended. Castiel ignored the tone.

"But why would he inflict pain on her when he wants to give her pleasure? And why would she allow the pain?" He asked tilting his head, the wheels visibly turning in his mind as he tried to find the answer on his own.

"I don't know, Cas!" Dean exclaimed, throwing his arms out in exasperation. "Maybe she's a masochist! Or he's a sadist! I don't know! It's a goddamn porno for Christ's sake!" Castiel looked even more confused by these words and Dean realized exactly what he'd done. He groaned and rubbed his hands down his face before flopping back down on the bed.

"What are…masochists and…sadists?" Castiel asked, tasting the words on his tongue. Dean sighed heavily and pushed himself up onto his elbows to look pointedly at the angel.

"A masochist is someone who likes to feel pain and a sadist is someone who likes to cause pain," He deadpanned. He was tired, he needed sleep and he _really_ needed this conversation to be over. Castiel blinked before his eyes grew wide.

"Why would a human like that?!" He exclaimed in utter shock. "Only demons should take pleasure in any type of pain!" Dean sighed and dropped back down onto the bed.

"Don't knock it till you've tried it," He said. Castiel sighed and looked out the window for a few moments, digesting the new information. For a while, Dean thought that they were done with the conversation and was about to drift off into sleep when Castiel decided to voice another question.

"Are you a masochist? Or a sadist?" Castiel's question made Dean groan with annoyance.

"Cas…seriously? Why are you asking me that?" He asked not even bothering to open his eyes. Castiel stared at the human sprawled out, fully clothed, on the bed and then turned to look out the window.

"Never mind," He said softly, dismissively. Dean sighed and rolled over onto his side, squirming up so that he was fully on the bed. He cracked open an eye to look over at the angel sitting at his table. Castiel just sat there silently. Dean sighed and shut his eyes. He didn't want to think. He was tired. He was asleep in seconds. Castiel rolled a few questions around in his head for a few moments before he decided it was time to get back to heaven. In a soft flutter of wings he was gone, leaving Dean alone and peacefully asleep.


	2. Which One Is That?

**A/N: I had this random thought that Cas might overhear a little something and ask Dean about it. Slightly AU because Sam does have his soul and there's a small mention of Gabriel being alive just 'cause. Hope you like it, please review :3**

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Which One Is That?

They had been driving to the next town, looking for a job. Dean was driving, Sam was sitting the passenger seat staring out the window and Castiel was seated in the back-which rarely ever happened. The angel was leaning back with a very thoughtful look on his face. It was about one o'clock in the morning and Sam was starting to nod off when Dean got extremely tired of the quiet.

"Okay, Cas. What's with the heavy silence?" He asked with a sigh, glancing at the angel in the rearview mirror. Castiel turned to look at him.

"Dean…what is a reverse cowgirl?" He asked seriously. Dean barked out a laugh of surprise and almost lost control of the Impala. Sam snickered and bit his lip to keep from bursting with laughter.

"Yeah, Dean. I've been wondering that myself," He said sarcastically, a devious grin splitting his face. It was at that moment that Dean knew Sam spent way too much time with Gabriel. He sighed and shook his head.

"Where the hell did you hear that?" He asked instead of answering his question.

"I overheard a human man saying it while talking with a large group in a bar," Castiel explained. Dean scoffed and refrained from rolling his eyes for the sake of staying on the road.

"Okay. What do you think it is?" He asked this time. Castiel answered immediately.

"I assume that it is the opposite of a cowgirl, which is the female version of a cowboy." Sam and Dean were both trying desperately not to burst out laughing. Sam was having to squeeze his eyes shut and bit his fist to keep in his laughter, though a few snickers and giggles came through every few seconds. Dean was hitting the steering wheel and biting his lip, trying with all his might to keep his attention on the road in front of them. Poor Castiel was looking between the two of them with utter confusion. "I…don't understand. What have I said that was funny?"

"Oh, Cas! This whole thing is funny!" Dean said, finally laughing. Sam kept it together a good three seconds longer than Dean before busting out into fits of side-splitting laughter. "Reverse Cowgirl is a sex position!" Castiel's eyes widened and a deep blush crept into his cheeks.

"Oh…" He said softly, looking down at the floorboard. Then his curiosity got the better of him. "Which one is it?" That earned another round of laughter from the Winchesters. Dean pulled over onto the shoulder of the road and put the Impala in park. He wiped laughter induced tears from his eyes and turned in his seat to face the angel.

"Okay, let me explain this to you," He said, still smirking. "The Reverse Cowgirl is when the girl's on top and her back is facing you." Castiel tilted his head to the side in thought. Then he blushed again.

"Oh…thank you for…clearing that up for me," He said. Dean laughed and reached over to pat his shoulder.

"No problem, Cas," He said turning back around. He put the Impala in drive and turned back onto the road. Sam fell asleep about ten minutes later leaving Dean and Castiel in a companionable silence with Black Sabbath playing softly on the stereo.


End file.
